Maywood: Semana 4‏ Mar. 1, 2010

Hola Familia!

This week has been so great! I can't even begin to tell you everything that happened, but I'll try. I was kind of depressed the last little while, even though I tried to just get over it and pretend like I wasn't, but finally this week I realized what was wrong and everything has been changing for the better. For one thing I wasn't talking to my companion about things that were frustrating me, I just kept holding them inside and trying to get over them or not think about them. I finally talked to my companion last week about some things and we have been improving and getting better ever since. I think that it partly it is because I had some really big expectations for myself coming fresh out into the field and wanting to convert the world, and then just feeling kind of squashed not being able to really help or contribute and not knowing what was going on but knowing wanting to ask and feel stupid. We also realized that we are just so motivated, dedicated, and serious that it can get really intense sometimes. I realized that I was really blessed to have Hermana Stout at the MTC to mellow me out a little bit, because we worked hard but we still had so much fun. I am really blessed to have Hermana Salazar as well, but we are just so similar in personality that we haven't really had a balance, so the work was not very enjoyable for awhile. I realized a lot of this when I went on splits with Hermana Mosher this past Wednesday, the Senior Sister Trainer. We had so much fun and it was such a good day. She gave me a lot more responsibility and I felt like I lived up to it and gained a lot more confidence in myself.

We also had zone conference this week with two zones from the mission. Hermana Stout was there so I got to say hi. She is doing really great. The zone conference was really good. President Blackburn talked about the atonement, and how if anything ever felt like it was too hard for us to handle in our lives it was because we aren't giving it over to the Lord and trusting him to help us.

Yesterday was my first baptism! Her name is Ariadne, and yesterday was also her nine year old birthday. Her family lives in Mexico and in December she came with her Grandma to live at her aunt's house to go to school here. Her aunt is inactive, but her grandma is extremely active and is such a sweet lady. Hermana Salazar started teaching Ariadne before I got here. She is extremely smart and mature and would always study and write things in her journal. She is also very patient with my spanish. It has been fun because we have come up with a lot of good analogies and activities to teach her the lessons, like drawing, making collages, etc. The baptism service itself actually turned out to be kind of chaotic. We decided to have a convert from the ward perform the baptism, he is 22 and just turned in his mission papers, so this was his first baptism. He was doing really good and didn't seem nervous, but then he was doing the baptism and he couldn't pronounce her name. It literally was at least two minutes, he kept saying "adriana," and the family and the rest of the congregation starting saying back to him "Ariadne," and then he finally got it right but she didn't go down all the way because she was a little afraid. It all worked out in the end though. Ariadne was just laughing about it, which was good. My companion and I also sang a musical number, but we hadn't really practiced it so we made some pretty big mistakes. Plus a lot of other random things went wrong throughout the day, but in the end, it definitely was a very memorable experience for me. Despite everything I really could feel the spirit and Heavenly Father's love for Ariadne. Her Grandma gave a talk and she thanked us for helping to teach Ariadne. Her grandma was always there with us in the lessons helping teach and bearing testimony. They are such a cute family.

I also gave my first talk as a missionary yesterday. It was in the english ward, and I had to talk for 15 minutes on how Preach my Gospel has helped me prepare to be a missionary. It went a lot better than I expected, considering I didn't really have time to prepare very much. I feel like there is always so little time for everything we need to do, but I love that we are busy and working hard.

We ended up dropping the brothers, or they dropped us because they've been too busy to meet with us. Ivan said that when he prayed he felt really motivated and inspired, like a new man, and that it helped him realize that he wants to change his life and pursue his dreams of becoming a pilot, so he is too busy to study about the church anymore because he needs to focus on his classes and school. It is interesting how the Lord work though, because last week they fell through on an appointment, so we went tracting instead and met their neighbor as he was pulling into his driveway. We talked to him for a minute and set up another appointment. When we came back to see him he told us "I don't know why you talked to me that day, but I had just decided that I need to change my life because I feel stuck in a rut. I don't know if its a coincidence or it was a sign from God or what." We had a really incredible lesson and both me and my companion felt the spirit helping s immensely. We taught in perfect unity, which is something we usually struggle a little bit with, and I even realized something new about the gospel as I was teaching that I had never thought about before. A lot of people look at the vision that Joseph Smith had and they expect that they should be able to have an incredible vision too. They feel "if he got that answer, why can't I get that answer?" I realized that we all can have that answer, because if we pray to know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that he had a vision, and if we feel that it is true, then in a way we take part ownership of the vision that he had, and that vision becomes our vision too. It wasn't just for him, it was for all of us. It is the proof that God loves every one of us, that he still speaks to us today, and that he answers prayers. We don't need something great, impressive, or astounding, and if we feel like we do then it is a little bit prideful. Joseph Smith himself was not asking to see God and was not expecting it to happen, but it did because it was necessary for all of us. We were teaching Tony about how to know that this is true, and it was such a reaffirmation of my testimony to feel the spirit working through me to teach and also teaching me at the same time. It is so incredible the way the Lord works through "small and simple things."

Tony also shared an experience about a hike he had as a marine, where everyone was passing out and he thought he was going to have to give up, but he prayed and God gave him the strength to finish. It made me think a lot about James. James, you are so lucky to have the gift of the guidance and strength from the spirit- it is something that will help you, as long as you are worthy to have it. I know that you will be and you will be such a good example for all of your fellow soldiers.

We had a funny experience eating at the Relief Society President's house. After we ate she gave us a big talk about how we really need to eat the food to not offend people. It was interesting to me because I really have been eating everything and loving it, but I guess in the past there have been sisters missionaries that haven't so some of the sisters in the ward are offended and don't want to feed us anymore. I think there is a bad reputation from the white sisters that aren't accustomed to eating the latino food, and so they are kind of lumping me into that category. I have been doing everything I can to break out of that reputation, because I want to show the ward members that I love and appreciate them. The only unfortunate thing is that I probably am going to gain a bit of weight while I'm here in Maywood. I've been exercising as hard as I can every morning, so hopefully it will be ok. The Relief Society president even said "you are going to get fat, but its ok, you can get skinny again after your mission. The most important thing now is that you show the sisters in the ward you appreciate them." There have been a few times where they give me so much food, and it makes me feel so sick to eat it all. They really are so sweet though, and the food is amazing. Some of the older sisters in the mission joke about their "mission babies" because they've gained some weight. I don't think they exercise as hard as I do though. Another hard thing is just like another sister said "food is our only worldly pleasure." Ha ha, in a way it is kind of true.

I have found so much more joy and happiness from really relating to the people, and also not being afraid to be myself. I am so happy to be here. I love you all so much!

Hermana Dansie